I Gots Me a Crush.
He's silver-fox dreamy.
He's well-read, well-spoken, and has that timbre of voice that makes yer nipples stand at attention.
He's a modern-day Paul Revere, but cheeky and eloquent like Shakespeare with a tattoo!
He's Keith Olberman! And I ask myself:
Where the frick have I been?
Oh, yeah. I been in school.
Head in the books. #2 pencils. Playing with combitubes, nonrebreathers and CPR dummies.
OY, NOW! BULLETIN! I graduated! I passedeth my EMT National Exam!
I git to ride the woo-woo! Woof! Bark!
More crap on that later, though. Won't be interesting enough unless I upload some pics and little flicks of my classmates. You need the Monty on this one in order to appreciate, for sure.
Anyways... there IS a Batman! It feels like Christmas, or Easter, or like when I find a fin (that's $5) in a pair of pants I haven't worn in years.
And he's on the TV.
The T.V.?
You know, that thing sitting in yer Watching Something Area?
99% of the time it's usually pooping out vacuous bullshit, like "I Wanna Be America's Next Top Jackass"
or "Paris Hilton: I Have No Gag Reflex", but every once in a while there's 1% of actual content.
Like, SMART content.
I don't know about you, but listen: I gotta go right now.
I'm clipping off a lock of my hair for my scrapbook. Commemorate this moment and such, so I can remember the moment where I began to feel the mainstream of human existence realizing there is something uber-fucked up, here.
Lookit! Keith's online, too! Check it:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240/
He's well-read, well-spoken, and has that timbre of voice that makes yer nipples stand at attention.
He's a modern-day Paul Revere, but cheeky and eloquent like Shakespeare with a tattoo!
He's Keith Olberman! And I ask myself:
Where the frick have I been?
Oh, yeah. I been in school.
Head in the books. #2 pencils. Playing with combitubes, nonrebreathers and CPR dummies.
OY, NOW! BULLETIN! I graduated! I passedeth my EMT National Exam!
I git to ride the woo-woo! Woof! Bark!
More crap on that later, though. Won't be interesting enough unless I upload some pics and little flicks of my classmates. You need the Monty on this one in order to appreciate, for sure.
Anyways... there IS a Batman! It feels like Christmas, or Easter, or like when I find a fin (that's $5) in a pair of pants I haven't worn in years.
And he's on the TV.
The T.V.?
You know, that thing sitting in yer Watching Something Area?
99% of the time it's usually pooping out vacuous bullshit, like "I Wanna Be America's Next Top Jackass"
or "Paris Hilton: I Have No Gag Reflex", but every once in a while there's 1% of actual content.
Like, SMART content.
I don't know about you, but listen: I gotta go right now.
I'm clipping off a lock of my hair for my scrapbook. Commemorate this moment and such, so I can remember the moment where I began to feel the mainstream of human existence realizing there is something uber-fucked up, here.
Lookit! Keith's online, too! Check it:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240/
posted by Lorelei at 3:18 PM
4 Comments:
Congrats on passing your exam and developing a crush!
Your life is sure turning up aces these days, eh?
Oh, and I'm SO looking forward to the Monty. I hope there's tongue.
Of course you passed..never for a minute thought you wouldnt! Well Done!!
Pssst, Old Man...there's only tongue when she's giving mouth-to-mouth.
Ahh, my leedle EMT!!! From now on, I must make sure I'm in "the next town over" whenever I require emergency assistance.
Actually, if I hop my back fence that would do it. But then you'd have a helluva time finding me in the woods, what with all the skunks and the possums and the broken beer bottles...It'd be like an episode of Rescue 911. Just without the helicopters. Or the drama. 8^(
Hey, all y'all dirties-- they don't allow us to give mouth-to-mouth anymore. The most intimate you'll be getting is a pocket face-mask.
But only after I whap yer chest 30 times and hear at least one rib crack. ZING!
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