Sunday, December 17, 2006


This is "Steve", a wicker mannequin what fer them seamstress-people would use that I bought for five dollah at a neighbor's yard sale last summer. FIVE DOLLAH! Even if one has no use for it whatsoever-- well, for fuck's sake, SUCH A DEAL!

Yeah, "Steve". I name LOTS of inanimate objects. Don't ask me why. It's just what I do.

And if you've ever seen the film, "Multiplicity" OR clicked on the link embedded in my entry title, you'd understand just WHAT "Steve" means.


Here we have our buddy all decked out in Holiday Glory. BLIIINNNGG!
Being somewhat of a poor street urchin my little ol' self, it was decided between myself and my darling Yeti while Christmas shopping to-- how do I say it?--
Fuck getting a tree, let's get some lights and decorate Steve. Capital Idea! Save dough! Scare the neighborhood! ROCK!

I suppose the comic element here is that our lovely Trustproof Gal, Laura, anticpated my actually, like, HAVING a tree, and therefore came over to mine homestead with boxes of precious, jolly and antique baubles for something a bit more...oh, tree-like.

OOPS! But does that deter the determined? HEEELLL, NO!

You know, when I purchased the soothing blue lights (i dig blue; very soothing and wintery), I hadn't realized just what LED lights (they burn cool! no hotness!) would look like on anything but a cop car.
Or that little light that comes with fancy cigarette lighters.

...Holy shit, it's like a Disco Faggy Cop entered the room. AWWWWESOME!

So we decked Steve's halls in and out, and Laura-- ever the artiste!-- put a pair of festive nipple rings on him!

Well, I love him. Darren loves him, and by all that is freaky and righteous, all who see will come and adore. Or else.

And he's not even really "done" yet. I've still oodles of shit to put on him, and I'm working on that bubble-light penis Laura so badly wanted to make a reality. Girlfriend! Working ON it!


Blogger Laura said...

Wouldn't a bubble-light penis be the most AWESOME addition?? Maybe it didn't work because I had it tilting downward--maybe you need some bubble-light viagra action.

I so hope you get him up n' running...

12/17/2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger Lorelei said...

Regardless, isn't he MAGNIF?

We birthed a holiday monster, girl.

12/17/2006 10:35 PM  
Anonymous Deirdre said...


12/18/2006 10:22 AM  
Blogger Old Man Crowder said...

Looks like something from Dr. Who. The Dalek's girlfriend, mayhap?

Oh yeah. I'm a dork.

12/18/2006 6:07 PM  
Blogger Lorelei said...

You're right on, Mr. Dork.

Although Laura and I were thinking more along the lines of Mystery Science Theater 3000...

12/18/2006 8:46 PM  

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